How Many Calvinists Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb?

Ponder this: Does a mere mortal possess the power to alter the course of cosmic events ordained by the hand of an almighty God? Nay, I say! For we, the staunch adherents of Reformed theology, hold fast to the sacred doctrine of predestination.

In this grand tapestry of existence, the changing of a light bulb is no trivial matter. Though it may seem like a nit of a deed, it is intricately woven within the divine decree, predetermined from eternity past. The meticulous sovereignty of God determines precisely when and by whom the light bulb shall be changed.

Therefore, my dear friend, the answer to your query is this: None. Absolutely none. For the sovereign will of God, in His infinite wisdom, has already ordained the appointed time for that light bulb to be replaced, leaving us mere mortals merely as humble observers in the grand symphony of divine providence.

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